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What is the difference between a counselor and a parent?

So at first I would like to start with a short story:

There is a child climbing down the steps and by mistake he has fallen and at the same time we started yelling at him and started passing comments like”Don’t you know how to walk?”,but at that moment what child wants from us is love,care and support we need to pick him up.

Morale:If a person is hurt physically and someone came and give him advise so there will be no change because in that situation person is in pain so if in physical pain advise doesn’t work so how it will work in emotional pain.

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So when a kid used to come from school he used to tell us everything that “what he ate in school?”,”What teacher taught in school?” and end number of things at that time we listened to our child and give him a sweet smile,So in this situation what our child got from us is acceptance, approval and appreciation, but what happened why situations changed ,same child same parent same relationship?This is because every soul needs acceptance, approval and appreciation,At first when they tell us everything about school we used to smile but know when they tell us that they bunked the class and went to watch movie with there friends in this case what we gave after listening is rejection,ridicule and criticism and after some days again he came and tell us “Today i went to a party , my offered me cigarette, today i tried cigarette” and again what he got from us is criticism then gradually he stopped telling us we thought we gave our child punishment and he stopped doing but what happens is, he just stopped telling us he did’t stop any of his work.This situation is not safe today , because of this situation Now in every schools counselors have have come now there child started going to a profession so is it a good sign for us that our child goes to a professional for sharing their problems but the major thing is this counselor’s own child doesn’t come to him they go to some another one so it is a profession yes but it is not a professional quality in fact we don’t have to be a counselor we simply give advise to our child’s friends when they share there problem but our child doesn’t come to us in fact parents are also ready to listen. Why they are not getting into get comfort zone of coming to a parent here my question arise “What is the major difference between a counselor and a parent?”Yes parents are judgemental and counselors are non judgemental.

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Teenage with a parent.
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Teenage with a counselor.

 

We didn’t control our mind in small things we didn’t have patience to make our child understand ,as we know cigarette is wrong and harmful but when at the age of 19 when our friends used to take it we also felt like having it, so it is modest but abruptly we gave him rejection we said child is wrong but we must have told that “It is natural to have these feelings of having it .”and should tell your child its harmful effects and make them understand but we did entirely opposite we gave him entire negative energy.

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In today’s world many things are uncontrollable only way to protect our child is that if they are having any problem they come and share with us but as we gave  him rejection so gradually our child went to his friends where he got acceptance and then automatically those friends make them do that work which may be harmful and because our child is getting acceptance with friends  he don’t want to lose it and he may fall in trouble and once they fall in trouble they don’t have courage to come to the parent.So just think our child in trouble and pain just because we are not ready to face the truth,and counselor means the biggest mistake done by someone it doesn’t matter how much big the mistake is he says,”That mistake is done now, know just focus on what needs to be done next and focus on the solution.”and after listening this our child’s self respect comes back because now only his willpower has led down we need to give them courage and give them mental and emotional strength and make them strong.As”Our role is not to control people, our role is not to discipline people,our role is to empower people.” We need to make them sure that in every situation we are there with them and are ready to listen them and as there are very nice lines said”God cannot be everywhere therefore he made parents.”

By Lavina Adwani

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Attitude of teenagers towards their parents!!!”

attitude5

So before starting ,I have a short story:

 

It was a bright Sunday morning,Sundays were there day;Bonding time for father and son.Father asked,”Cricket this time?”, “Going out with friends.” Son replied.

Moral:” In this journey to explore new relations , old ones have died.”

So as we saw in the above story misbehave or rude behavior of a child towards his parent . Actually we can’t say that it’s a misbehave ,we can say it as problem of generation gap many people call it ageism, age based discrimination etc .Its one and the same thing.

Teenage a age between 13 to 19 where child is entering adolescent , it is the age in which children face a lot of problems it’s said to be very sensitive age ,the  age where our fantasies grow much higher, that we forget our family and we just make our own world of friends , the world in which we just do parties, we just want to enjoy, in this we take our parents as ATM we just want our needs, our every desire should be fulfilled and if, in case parents said no for something that you asked for then you treat them like your enemies and if your parent say something about your friends group so you just feel terrible that,” how can your parents criticize your friends?”, “who are they to say?”,we have these thoughts in mind.As in the earlier times it was seen that there was not much technology developed so children used to spend more time with there  family , now they are so busy with there cellphones that even when they get up in the morning they worship whats-app, earlier children use to worship god and greet there parents in the morning but now the scenario is totally different now they first greet there cellphones, they think without cellphones there life will be stopped.And now if we go towards our modern society today’s teens are just busy in doing parties as I said above they are just busy in consuming alcohol , smoking etc.  As a survey says that ,”Among high school students 10% cases comes from teenagers that drink and drove,21% of teens are consuming an excessive amount of alcohol, and 13% of teens are addicted towards smoking.”  So this is what our today’s generation is doing they our not thinking of there future and they are not even thinking about the upcoming generation that what worst things they are leaving for them.Mother and daughter having a chat over coffee

So its a humble request to today’s generation to today’s teens that don’t think your teachers and parents as enemies they are the ones who really cares for you they are the ones, who guide you ,who support you in every situation so, try to follow the guidelines which they give you we all know that its a problem of generation gap we all understand it but, try to understand your parents problems try, to understand there situation that how they nurtured you from a baby to a teen how they gave 20 year of their life to make you who you are today , sit and talk with your parents at least leave your cellphones for sometime listen to your parents talks ,there issues discuss your problems with them and at the same time you will feel much better that time and respect your teachers they are the one who guide you towards your goal never disrespect them, As it is said that ,”A teacher takes a hand ,opens a mind, and touches a heart.”attitude8

Once think of your society that how much you can do for your society, show your different ideas, show your caliber in that ,don’t waste your time in these parties this is your age try to explore yourself, give time to explore attitude9.jpegyourself, make your mind relax, do some innovative thing for betterment of your society it will help not only you but our future generation and most importantly will make your parents and teachers proud on you.

 

 

By Lavina Adwani

 

 

 

 

 


 


	

Our thoughts and a burning desire:A key to success.

Mr.Edison with Edison Ditacting Machine

Success :It is a feeling of proud a feeling that has a lot of emotions within it emotions of happiness, joy, enthusiasm. But have we all seen or heard that behind every successful person there is a story!!

As today I have a story to tell,which I have heard it somewhere, as everyone of us here know about Thomas Alva  Edison an American inventor and businessman who has been described as America’s greatest inventor because of his greatest contribution as he invented a bulb and many other things .

But have anyone thought to invent or make something it is the team work that binds everyone and opens the doors for success because success is not a readymade straightfitjacket And  mind it ,it has no shortcut  As at early times there was a person named Edwin C Barnes who proved that persons thought are the one and a keen desire of achieving something is the one who lets a person achieve his desired goals. He was the man who thought his way into partnership with Thomas a .Edison he wanted to work with him and not for him..as this was not easy but also nothing is impossible to be achieved, As seen when this desire came up in his mind he was not in the position to fulfill it and even he was not having some pennies also to travel to Orange, New jersey where Mr. Edison lived and most importantly he did not know Mr. Edison properly.As these are the only thought by which anyone can feel discouraged and think to just leave but then its his positivity and desire because of which he traveled through “blind baggage”. And when he first went for interview  he did not got into partnership but he started working at very low wages and started doing work which was not of much important to Edison but it was for Barnes as it gave him opportunity to show his merchandise .As months pass by no changes came up. But Barnes did not left hope he did not said that” I need to leave this job and earn better and do some another job instead he said” I am hear to achieve to be in the partnership with Edison and I will achieve even if it takes my entire life here only” so what it tells is that “Determination to remain on its goal on the purpose which he was seeking”

Picture:Edwin C Barnes and Mr.Edison together.

Then as it is said that Sometimes things or opportunities comes in different and unexpected  ways and it is one of the tricks of opportunities if you realized and catch it its good for you .As same happened in case of Barnes also Mr. Edison had just perfected a new office device at that time it was known as Edison ditacting Machine but his salesman were not excited or enthusiastic over that machine they thought it needs to be sold with a lot of efforts this gave Barnes an opportunity he suggested Edison that He could sold it And as he said he did after this effort a slogan grew “MADE BY EDISON AND INSTALLED BY BARNES” After this company was working for more than thirty years and Barnes also become rich but his goal was not only to become rich his main purpose was to  come up into partnership with Edison and he did it and proved that what we think , what we dream can comes to reality only if we are determined towards it ,and it was just his positive mind set towards his goal towards his motive because of that only thoughts can come into reality, we saw in the beginning that Barnes was having nothing he was not having enough money to start with but a little education, he had no influence but a little initiative and faith and  will to win .

Moral of this story is:

  •  Stay Positive
  • Stay Determined
  • Opportunity can come in an unexpected way have courage to realize it
  • Get an good education because only it will be till the end and no one can take it out from your mind
  • And most importantly everyone has different knowledge different skills never compare yourself with anyone and never be discouraged by small small difficulties occurring in way to success they come to judge us they come to judge our capacity of bearing the problems but it is we who need to overcome and proof our-self .
  • Never feel discouraged.
  • Stay faithful towards your work

And as it is said by Mr.Steve Jobs  “ If you are working on something exciting that you really care about ,you don’t have to be pushed. The vision pulls you.”

By Lavina Adwani